What to do now?
I have no clue where this is all taking me but I do know that the Love I feel will go with me. And It will go with me because I’ve asked It to. But what exactly Is This Love? I can’t “see” It and can’t “touch” It in the way my ego “thought” about it. To “see” and “touch” you, I have a huge clue Who and What Love Is.
I’ve “thought” about the A Course in Miracles and what it has taught me over the last 10 years. How the “teachings” of it brought me to an understanding I never had before. I don’t know if I had to “lose” my son or his and his sisters’s father, in order to come to this understanding. I’ve listened to Course teachers(human) and my Teacher(Voice for God) and have learned many things both in the ego and in Truth.
The Voice for God for me, is the “positive thoughts” I’ve been getting and paying attention to. I’ve had these thoughts since I can remember as well as other thoughts I now believe are ego thoughts. I’ve come to understand that in this world, to act on the thoughts of this world(ego) is to live and operate in this world of physical matter. To act on the thoughts of the(Voice for God) is to “see” for me, that there is no physical matter. These are the options from what I’ve learned in the Course and in the world that I can choose from.
Waking up and seeing the dream of which the Course describes in the world of form has been a rocky road. A very scary roller-coaster ride, to say the least. After coming to the Course, I learned why I saw it the way I did and how I can wake up from what I was seeing. After being vigilant and committing to do this work, the fears are diminishing and most have vanished and the only thing I want to do is help others who want to wake up. It is an honor and a privilege to help.
I am realizing that it is an individual “waking up” and by choice that others have to make for themselves. I don’t know anything about “others” who have awoken and what went on with them to get to this point on a “personal” level, but I have listened and shared their stories, and I don’t have concrete answers as to Who and What God Is to the point of helping in a major way, yet, or the answers to why this all happened in the first place. I do know there is “Something” Else and in my ‘training’ in the world I choose to accept that Something Else to be God.
A God of Love. A God of Kindness, A God of Caring in All Ways, A God of Giving, A God of Receiving. This is the God I choose to believe and know. I’m still learning how to receive my Guidance all of the time. I don’t understand yet, how to Give and Receive completely as to be “the Love I want to see in the world” but I Am another step closer.
I Am “waking up” in my understanding of what the Course is saying and I will just for this moment remember that I’ve chosen just that. Each day brings more information, more Love and more ways to wake up from this dream. I’ve made a commitment and decided to follow this Love I think I have found, finally. I will fall, as I have many times and right this minute with a little help from my friends I will continue to keep making that commitment with each passing day.
I’ll see you all in my dreams, until the next time, be well, be loved and know that I’m doing my little part in helping in the best way I can. Thank You All for Showing Up and helping me in the ways you have. I Love You in the best way I can. <3